Prayer and the art of Volkswagen maintenance.

Apologies to Donald Miller for stealing his former book title, but it seemed appropriate.

I've been filling up my little jar, and one of my little blessings I wrote down read:

Having a dependable car.

Now, those of you who knew me in the days of the Big Red Dodge and the series of mishaps that occurred with that vehicle over the year 2009 probably also know how excited I was to become the owner of a not-so-New Beetle this summer. The picture above is just me excitedly posed with my newly-acquired car.

Today in the midst of packing for my trip to Illinois, I decided to empty out my change jar and order some cheap sushi, just to avoid having to cook anything right before leaving for a few days. My beloved little car decided to have a meltdown during the should-have-been 5-minute trip to pick it up, and is currently hanging out in the Walgreens parking lot after I ended up walking back to my apartment (after picking up my lunch, of course).

I decided that, while I'm waiting for my sister to pick me up and take me back to attempt to start my car, I was going to take this opportunity to write about this whole thing. Maybe it's just because I've been thinking about these things lately, but I realized during the LONG walk home (which wasn't really that long) that I may have to take that slip of paper out of my jar. Maybe my car wasn't going to be as dependable as I had hoped. I also realized that the weather was unusually warm and gorgeous for a late autumn day (maybe around 72, and in retrospect maybe that means upcoming tornadoes) and I found myself literally thanking God that, if my car was going to mess up anyway, he let it malfunction on a day this nice so I could enjoy the walk home.

I'm realizing that my happiness and my gratitude must never be dependent on everything in my life going exactly the way I think it should. God is teaching me through all of these things. I can't afford a car repair now (and I'm not even sure yet if I'll need it), but maybe I'm going to learn about his provision in ways I haven't before. Or maybe I'm just discovering that, even when my jar is short a couple pieces of paper, there's still countless others waiting to be written on. Today I'm thanking God for beautiful weather and pleasant walks home.

Still learning about gratitude:

Sushi.

Trips to the Farmer's Market.

Memories--what was sweet in the past should never have to bring sadness today.

Having ten fingers and ten toes.

Forgiveness, both giving and recieving.

Having enough to sometimes bless others, and be blessed through that experience.

The vibrant colors that make up everything I see around me.

Jehovah Jireh--knowing my God will supply all my needs.

Happy Thanksgiving. Let's remember all of the good gifts we already have.

Always starting over, but somehow I always know where to begin...

Well, hello there. I'm a little rusty. I've brewed a cup of chai tea and lit some incense and sought solitude in hopes something would come to me that is worth the time and effort of your reading.

One of my dear friends recently told me that she missed reading my blog, and asked that I start writing in it again. I found this funny since I had only written in the blog for, I think, a couple of weeks. I assumed, or hoped, it had been forgotten, along with any of the many other things I have failed to follow through on in life. Perhaps fortunately, my friend had remembered it very well and was kind enough to give me the little push I needed to get back into the blogging business.

With Thanksgiving coming up, I have been wrestling with the major issue that kept me from wanting to write about my growth in Christ--or, more seriously, that actually stunted my growth in Christ. Discontentment has been a significant issue for me over the past few months, and I have come to realize that these feelings of discontentment are the fruit of a lack of trust in God's faithfulness (despite the fact that He has always, always, proven himself faithful) and a lack of gratitude for the things He has already given me (abundantly beyond anything I could ever hope to deserve. I have been following Anne Voskamp's blog (aholyexperience.com) and what she has been writing about gratitude.

"When gratitude is bound by circumstances, lives are bound to bitterness."

How I allow my circumstances to determine my gratitude!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I can name a thousand things I've expressed my dissatisfaction with over the past few months. I have allowed my mood, my actions, my worship, my prayer life, and absolutely everything important to fall apart as I spent time stressing over my lack of contentment in my job, in my singleness, with my friends, with my dog, with my finances, with my body, with my family... the list goes on and on and on and on.

And yet how many good things have I failed to notice along the way? So often the very things I complain about are interwoven with the greatest blessings God is giving me every day.

Over this Thanksgiving week I am trying to fill this jar with little slips of paper containing things I am grateful for.

I am challenging myself to absolutely STUFF it with little reasons that I know "I am blessed." Throughout the next year, when I feel discontent, I can pull these out one by one. They will range from the simplest, silliest little things to the great gifts promised to us in scripture.

I'll pull a few out over the next few days to share with you, also.

I'll also be focusing on some ways I am learning to live more generously. As I learn to trust God more and more to meet my needs, I have more freedom to help others and to share what I have.

Let's pop the lid off that jar of thank-yous:

The times the little girl I teach, who has autism, grabs my hand, out of nowhere, just because she is happy.

Never going hungry.

Goodwill, inc.

Wisdom gained when I get to talk to and listen to more mature Christians.

The times I learn humility the hard way.

My good health.

The energy I need to accomplish my daily tasks, even when I don't really prefer the task.

Sloppy kisses on the cheek from my student.

Atonement (n) 1) the making of amends 2) reconciliation between God and man

Hot glue guns

My mom, who has loved me through ALL of it (and probably more)

Doggy kisses, even when they're a little annoying

And more to come. I look forward to sharing with you again!