Always starting over, but somehow I always know where to begin...

Well, hello there. I'm a little rusty. I've brewed a cup of chai tea and lit some incense and sought solitude in hopes something would come to me that is worth the time and effort of your reading.

One of my dear friends recently told me that she missed reading my blog, and asked that I start writing in it again. I found this funny since I had only written in the blog for, I think, a couple of weeks. I assumed, or hoped, it had been forgotten, along with any of the many other things I have failed to follow through on in life. Perhaps fortunately, my friend had remembered it very well and was kind enough to give me the little push I needed to get back into the blogging business.

With Thanksgiving coming up, I have been wrestling with the major issue that kept me from wanting to write about my growth in Christ--or, more seriously, that actually stunted my growth in Christ. Discontentment has been a significant issue for me over the past few months, and I have come to realize that these feelings of discontentment are the fruit of a lack of trust in God's faithfulness (despite the fact that He has always, always, proven himself faithful) and a lack of gratitude for the things He has already given me (abundantly beyond anything I could ever hope to deserve. I have been following Anne Voskamp's blog (aholyexperience.com) and what she has been writing about gratitude.

"When gratitude is bound by circumstances, lives are bound to bitterness."

How I allow my circumstances to determine my gratitude!

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

I can name a thousand things I've expressed my dissatisfaction with over the past few months. I have allowed my mood, my actions, my worship, my prayer life, and absolutely everything important to fall apart as I spent time stressing over my lack of contentment in my job, in my singleness, with my friends, with my dog, with my finances, with my body, with my family... the list goes on and on and on and on.

And yet how many good things have I failed to notice along the way? So often the very things I complain about are interwoven with the greatest blessings God is giving me every day.

Over this Thanksgiving week I am trying to fill this jar with little slips of paper containing things I am grateful for.

I am challenging myself to absolutely STUFF it with little reasons that I know "I am blessed." Throughout the next year, when I feel discontent, I can pull these out one by one. They will range from the simplest, silliest little things to the great gifts promised to us in scripture.

I'll pull a few out over the next few days to share with you, also.

I'll also be focusing on some ways I am learning to live more generously. As I learn to trust God more and more to meet my needs, I have more freedom to help others and to share what I have.

Let's pop the lid off that jar of thank-yous:

The times the little girl I teach, who has autism, grabs my hand, out of nowhere, just because she is happy.

Never going hungry.

Goodwill, inc.

Wisdom gained when I get to talk to and listen to more mature Christians.

The times I learn humility the hard way.

My good health.

The energy I need to accomplish my daily tasks, even when I don't really prefer the task.

Sloppy kisses on the cheek from my student.

Atonement (n) 1) the making of amends 2) reconciliation between God and man

Hot glue guns

My mom, who has loved me through ALL of it (and probably more)

Doggy kisses, even when they're a little annoying

And more to come. I look forward to sharing with you again!